Anger can be a hot topic. We often think that there is something shameful about anger or feeling angry about situations. Anger is not the problem – it’s how we react when we are angry, that can cause us problems!
Here are some common triggers for anger and frustration:
· Parents
· Siblings
· Friends
· Social Injustice
We should be angry about situations of injustice in our world, as our response can be a catalyst for change. However, right now, when we are all in lockdown again, the anger and feelings of frustration are more likely to be focused on our family. They will provide the stimulus, but we need to consider our response.
The book of Proverbs in the Old Testament in the Bible, gives us wisdom on how to manage our anger:
‘A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper fire.’
The Bible – Proverbs chapter 15 verse 1 (The Message Translation)
Reacting to a situation is very different to responding to it. We need to put some time and space between our stimulus (the thing that has upset us) and our response. Remembering these words ‘a gentle response defuses anger’, we need to be aware that our response can make the difference between an argument and a conversation to resolve differences.
God knows that we will face situations that make us angry which is why he gives us instructions on how to manage it.
‘Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry – but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.’
The Bible – Ephesians chapter 4 verse 26-27 (The Message Translation)
Why not try counting to 10, walking away, or something else that gives you some time to process your response to help to defuse a difficult situation. When you then respond, notice the response and difference in the other person too.
Finally, what does the Bible tell us about situations of injustice in the world; are we allowed to feel angry about those situations?
‘Speak up for the people who have no voice, for the rights of all the down and outers. Speak out for justice! Stand up for the poor and the destitute!’
The Bible – Proverbs chapter 31 verses 8-9 (The Message Translation)
Yes! We are told that we need to speak out against injustices in the world, remembering that the same rules apply to this, as to personal situations – ‘don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge’.
‘There are many ways to speak out against injustice in our virtual world, signing petitions, emailing politicians…we may never meet those for whom we are speaking, but we can be sure that God sees.’
David Westlake (from Soul Survivor Youth Bible p.779)
Spend some time today to be honest with yourself about how you are feeling; then bring it to God and ask him for wisdom of how to deal with the emotions or situation.
The book of Proverbs also tells us:
‘Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He’s the one who will keep you on track.’
The Bible – Proverbs chapter 3 verse 5 (The Message Translation)
You don’t have to work it out on your own – bring it to God, talk to someone you can trust and ask them to pray it through with you. Don’t try to figure our everything on your own!
